Dysfunctional Realities


Regarding the 'Imbalance'

I believe there
IS an imbalance but it is not in the brain chemistry. It is in the psycho spiritual or metaphysical realm of relating. Human beings tend to protect and defend dysfunctional values and boundary violating behaviour as though their lives depended upon it. We love 'the devil we know' simply because we are used to it. It takes effort to change that and we will not win any popularity contests by doing it. We are so accustomed to having how we all LOOK and SOUND to 'others' as the top priority, defined as 'normal,' that we object to anyone who tries to state openly that how we ARE is twisted and self destructive. So rather than hear the truth, the majority engage in a contest with those 'others' who are 'not like us'  believing that the only way to preserve the group madness we know and love is to dominate all the 'others' who are as mad as we are for doing exactly the same thing!

Dysfunctional Power Struggle

Aggressor: Don't listen to HER! She is only SAYING I did that to seek attention.

Opposite side, rarely heard: Don't listen to HIM. He is only SAYING “don't listen to her,” to avoid having any unwanted attention focused on him.

The Premise

  •  7/27/2017
  •   Lefave, Patricia
  •    views
When we are not operating from the same LEVEL of communication, we may be using the same WORDS while not really communicating at all. It is often the basic difference between thinking in terms of what's what, rather than in terms of who is whom. If parents or family (or the boss or the cop or the preacher, orthe dictator etc. ) MUST be revered for BEING those NOUNS, then those who are being defined that way can say, or do, WHATEVER they like to anyone who suggests that reality is otherwise. Fo...
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For the Stranger to Me Who "Warns" Others

  •  6/25/2017
  •   Lefave, Patricia
  •    views
(Based on the never ending Gossip session which of course exists ONLY in my Defective Mind) First let me tell you 'Val' that you are but one of thousands just like you acting out every day and very righteous about your judgments. Of course your stories and judgments MUST be true, since there are so MANY of you in agreement  about it- right? OK- Now let's get to the point where the mob which you have become, and which has grown in size, over the years, NEVER, EVER Gets. The 'game' goes like...
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Delusional Reversal

  •  3/4/2017
  •   Lefave, Patricia
  •    views
Basically it goes like this: reality splitting so that wrong, can seem 'right.' It is of course less likely to be seen in groups since the dysfunctional group has VOTED it into 'normality.' When you live in dysfunctional contest mode, and are focused on WHO has control and not WHAT the control bit is all ABOUT, real problems are rarely identified so they don't ever get resolved. If you are a member of the group which does not think in terms of a 'contest' you will not understand the power st...
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Even the Biggest Control Freaks on the Planet

  •  9/19/2016
  •   Lefave, Patricia
  •    views
.....Can't Control Everyone Don't Become What You Hate. Don't decide you 'may as well because you can't change anything. You CAN change something. You can change the way we deal with this dysfunctional group reality. Don't abuse, curse, yell, threaten or become violent. Do what they don't expect and don't know HOW to control. Become a mob of egalitarians; full of reason, mutual respect, on a one to one basis, and models of personal boundaries. The controllers will be running for cover. A ...
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  •  9/16/2016
  •   Lefave, Patricia
  •    views
This is the polar opposite of 'secret' Inferiority and the 'choice' made between two poles in the dysfunctional paradigm. Separate and equal is not even in this view of reality. In dysfunctional relating life is a contest, not a co-operative. Wherever there is an assumption of superiority in understanding and/or inherent worth, there is NO REAL communication taking place between those two 'sides.' Even less so, if the other 'side' is relating as an equal and not accepting one of the assigned r...
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The Trees of the Forest 

I live in a Community Full of Trees who have turned to each other and agreed together that there is no Forest. I am the only one, it seems, who can see a Forest. I perceived this Forest to exist also while in the Home Wood. The Trees in the Home Wood perceived my perception of them as warped and ridiculous, and my 'claim' that I saw those Trees as nothing but a bid for attention.
That is how the Trees know that I am stupid and/or crazy you see. That and the fact that all the Trees know that reality, is that, which is defined by majority vote. What the Majority votes into existence is obviously what is normal. What the majority vote against is abnormal. So there is no “Forest.” So say the Trees.



What would have happened if Neanderthal, certain that he represented all that was right, normal and complete in creation/evolution, had decided, and had the capability to; 'fix,’ modify and control Cro Magnon for his own good?




Would those of us with taller foreheads been understood to be suffering from severe birth defects and assumed to be too stupid to know it?



"A mobbing is like a tornado spun off from a spring rainstorm
- a fervent, collective assault that escalates from
an ordinary conflict."
-Kenneth Westhues
qtd. in "Mob Rule"
by John Gravois


“It is important for human beings to feel popular and well liked amongst a large group of human beings that we don’t really care for at all.”

Jerry Seinfeld

Schizophrenic Zen

 The people who are talking about us exclude THEMSELVES from the identification process regarding the people who we “think” are talking about us.  These are the same people who lower their eyes and talk out of the sides of their mouths as the means of rendering themselves invisible and inaudible when talking about us, from one to ten feet away. Having achieved this state of being through the use of the cloak of invisibility and the cone of silence, they then know they cannot be the people doing all the talking. They think it must be awful to have a disease that causes us to think people are talking about us and they are sure glad they don’t have an illness like that.

Don’t laugh. They will help us if you do.